Fund Spending

Once again I have the next three months activities for you. I hope you can attend as many as possible.
April 15th. North Staffs Carers now have a scheme known as CRASH in operation.. It is aimed at assisting carers so we thought you would like to know more about it. Therefore, we will have a representative, Sharon, along to tell us all about it. This will be at Trinity Social Club, London Rd, Newcastle. There will be a buffet, of course.
May 20th. Something rather different this month – a Sporting Evening at the YMCA , Hanley. I’m giving nothing away for this one, you will have to come along and see for yourselves.
June 17th. We are having a return trip to Kingsley Moor Shooting Club. This will be different though. Instead of clay pigeon shooting we are having three bases set up – rifle shooting, archery and blindfold driving. (With a buffet to follow)
Hope to see you at these functions.
Geoff Hick Funding Officer
 

I don’t know if it’s just me but I think that time is speeding up, I really can’t believe that it’s time for Knotty Matters again, but as Paul is chasing me for this report I really must get on with it.
The Christmas meal was another good evening even though the weather wasn’t very good, we don’t usually get snow in early December. January we were playing pool at the Players Pool and Snooker Lounge in Newcastle, which was a new venue for us. We had a good turn out in spite of the weather, this time it was very heavy rain. We are just hoping that the weather is kinder to us for the summer activities. We could do with good weather in June for the planned activities at Kingsley Moor. We are also trying to line up other outdoor activities for July and August, but more about that next time.

I look forward to see you at all or some of the next three months events.

Joan Hick
 

Carers Support

If you need any advice on your role as a carer, help is at hand. On the second Monday of the month, a member of the crash team (Carers Rapid Action Support and Help) will be available at
M.S. Mondays at the YMCA to answer any questions you may have.
The team, who are members of the North Staffs carer’s organisation
provide a free and confidential service on all aspects of caring.

If you would like to make an appointment ring John on 01782 846740
 

PARENT- Job Description

POSITION :
Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless
sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £5.Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, co instantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because  of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..

BENEFITS :
No health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!